I tried to fit in
I tried to have fun
I even picked up lingo like unbirthday that was fun
But each time I tried
They looked at me like
I looked at bread and butterflies
I make daisy chains when I’m bored
Once they die I make a new one
I like to have them with me when I’m stressed
The teachers at school don’t understand
They take them away
And I do well of course but I’d do much better with them
I came down here following a rabbit
Cause I love rabbits
And I’ve never seen one talk
But once told people they said
Forget that rabbit
Why a rabbit
You better join us in anything that’s not a rabbit
Have them inside my cameo necklaces and on mini paintings on my bedroom walls
Got to see the inside of that rabbit’s house
Would have been a dream come true
Except they wanted to burn me alive
If my parents found out I was here they’d be so upset
They’d say Alice you’re respectable
Stop moving your head
Don’t sit on the grass
You’re getting your petticoats wet
Why are you judging me?
What you’re doing is more harmful than mine
So why are you the cool one
Why am I the outcast
No one got hurt from making daisy chains
What am I doing wrong?
You can’t tell me what I’m doing wrong?
Why am I getting up well
You’re being rude to me
What did you expect from me
Did you expect me to be all
Omg yay and God Bless us everyone
Because someone like you decided to talk to me
Did you think just because I’m not from around here I wouldn’t demand basic respect?
That just because I’m not used to you I don’t know to ask for more?
Well you’re wrong.
I’ve been in another world
I’m from another world and I’ve been in it my whole life
And in that life they treated me well
So I know better
Stop assuming I don’t know any better
And treating me like crap because you think I think it’s as good as it gets
because I don’t.
I know
Other visitors to your world probably smiled, nodded and accepted that this is as good as it gets
Well guess what I’m not other visitors
I don’t want to be three feet tall because three feet tall is such a wretched height
Maybe you’re okay with staying three feet tall forever
but I’m not.
I don’t wanna be like you
At all
So you could go choke on that methanol
You don’t know what it’s like to be me
So cut out the shit and hypocrisy
When I go back I’d get electroshock
Cause life isn’t fair
And Victorian times suck
And I get locked up
While you’re invited to every party in town
How is that fair?
You thought I was here so I could be more like you
Cause what else could I aspire to
Has it ever occurred to you
That there’s nothing wrong with me
And what’s wrong is this whole world and you?
Evangelyn Rachel (she/her) states, “I wrote this inspired by my experience as a neurodiverse person.”
Evangelyn's Contact Info:
Insta: @evangelynrachel
Originally published September 2019.